


The Definition of Debonair (Supernatural)

by SingingFlames



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is Awkward, Castiel tries to go undercover, Fluff, Fun with nymphs, Gen, Humor, Hunting Lucifer, Seasons Fan Book
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 07:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13946844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingFlames/pseuds/SingingFlames
Summary: During their search for Lucifer, Castiel and Crowley seek answers from a lair of nymphs. There’s only one way to deal with nymphs.





	The Definition of Debonair (Supernatural)

**Author's Note:**

> Word Count: 1200+  
> Warnings: Mentioned nudity (hello, nymphs)  
> A/N: This is my submissions for the Seasons Fan Book on Tumblr (@spnshortstories).

“Why me?” Castiel grumbled into his earpiece. In their search for Lucifer, they’d visited many places, but this… he sighed and looked around. This was beyond his comfort level. He gazed at the mansion gates and the flourishing vegetation visible through the bars and draped over the wall. Despite the chill wind and the dusting of snow, the trees and shrubbery were inexplicably green and vibrant. 

“You don't listen very well, do you, darling?” Crowley’s smooth voice answered in his ear. “Trust me, I would love nothing more than to be in your shoes, entering a den of nymphs. But, sadly, the lovely ladies don’t care for demons. And no human can resist their charms long enough to get any information. So, what we need is a fine, handsome fellow who is neither demon nor human. Enter, you.”

“Why would they talk to me?” Castiel grimaced. Nymphs weren’t known for casually sharing knowledge. 

“They’re creatures of the most hedonistic desires. Something I understand quite well.” Crowley chuckled. “Satisfy those desires, and they will happily tell you anything.”

“I am distinctly uncomfortable with this.”

Crowley sighed, the soft sound barely audible over the wind. “All you need do is flirt with the dearies. Charm them up. Be suave. Debonair.”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Stupid.” 

“Preferably not.”

A sudden gust tore down the street, throwing loose snow about. A lone soda can rattled across the pavement. The angel tightened his jacket about him, more from habit than any need of comfort. The winter weather did not bother him. Across the way, the bountiful vegetation seemed similarly unaffected. Certainly, the nymphs would not want their precious plants to perish, but there must be a more subtle way for them to exist? Perhaps farther south, in a warmer climate, or… 

“Are you still standing there, wings?” Crowley’s voice over the earpiece startled him. “Chop, chop. Things to do, nymphs to seduce, Lucifer to find. Remember?” 

“This is ridiculous.” Hunching his shoulders, Castiel moved to the gate. Latched to the side was a buzzer, complete with camera and speaker. He pressed the button.

A few moments later, a melodious feminine voice emerged from the speaker. “Yes?”

Castiel opened his mouth and realized, in his flustered state, he hadn't prepared a cover story. “Um. Can I come in?”

“My,” Crowley cut in, “that was smooth.”

The woman hummed. “My my, an angel. A cute one, too.”

“I'm not sure I qualify as ‘cute’. I've seen others-”

“Don't argue, idiot!” He flinched at the demon’s sudden outburst, his hand moving up to rub his ear. Crowley continued, “Trust me, you're beautiful. Now, go and try not to bullock this up.”

Over the gate’s speaker, Castiel heard giggles. “We’d love to meet you, sweetie. Come on in, out of the cold.”

He muttered his thanks and opened the gate, ignoring Crowley’s snort of disbelief. Inside, the temperature climbed several degrees, although the frigid breeze still blew over him. Glancing around the garden, Castiel noticed several flowers, their petals tipped in frost - brilliant blue scilla siberica and vivid yellow forsythia suspensa amongst others - blooming both out of season and thousands of miles away from their native soil. Nymphs loved their flora.

Crowley’s voice interrupted his musing. “You know, given the ladies’ reputation, there’s a fair chance you’ll get lucky in there.”

“Good. We could use a break in our search.”

“Must I preface my statements with, ‘This is a sexual innuendo,’ or will you ever catch on? Honestly, that was an easy one.”

“Have you considered limiting your use of innuendos?” Castiel asked.

“No.”

Castiel shook his head. As he approached the manor’s moss-covered oak door, he schooled his features to a neutral expression. What had Crowley suggested? Seducing the nymphs? How did he do that? He couldn’t see himself employing any of Dean’s methods - not well at any rate - and he didn’t have any experience of his own to draw from. 

The door opened.

Two exquisite women stood within. Naked. Silky hair flowed down their bare shoulders - one radiant scarlet, the other deep obsidian - that did nothing to cover their state of undress. 

Castiel coughed. “Um.”

“Well, hello.” Their eyes traveled over him. The redhead licked her lips. Neither seemed to notice the bitter wind.

“Um.”

Crowley cut in over the radio, “Say something. I don’t care what. Just speak!”

The nymphs giggled, looking between each other.

Castiel cleared his throat. “Hi.”

“Hey,” the nymphs responded, in unison. 

“Aren't you the definition of debonair,” Crowley said.

“Hi,” Castiel repeated, swallowing.

Redhead blew him a kiss, then leaned in and intertwined her arm with Darkhair.

Castiel’s gaze slid aside. “Hi.”

“Pigeon,” Crowley interrupted with a sigh, “expand your vocabulary. Please?” 

Darkhair beckoned him forward with one languid finger. Redhead eyed him through her lashes, teeth pulling at her lip.

Castiel scratched the back of his neck. “Hello.”

“Not an improvement. I said expand your vocabulary, not use a thesaurus,” Crowley said.

“What’s that? Do you hear something?” Redhead said, stepping out into the snow.

“Bugger all,” Crowley muttered.

“Yes,” Darkhair answered. She strode forward, uncaring of the weather against her bare flesh. She ran her hands up Castiel’s lapels. Her fingers curled up either side of his face, nails tracing his chin to his ears. “Tell me, sweet angel, do you hear voices?” 

“Um.”

Darkhair plucked the earpiece from Castiel’s ear and tossed it aside. “Come, scrumptious one. Let’s go inside and warm up.”

~~~~~~

Castiel pushed the gates open, coattails fluttering against his legs. As soon as he cleared the barrier, Crowley materialized. 

“That was barely an hour. I'd thought angels would have more stamina.”

“What?” Castiel asked, eyebrows pinched together. 

Crowley continued as if Castiel hadn't spoken. “So, how many of the lovely ladies were in residence?” 

“I met with seven, although there may well have been more I didn't see.” 

“Seven? Nice.” Crowley smirked. “How did it go?”

Castiel sighed. “They didn't know anything. They barely knew about the first time Lucifer escaped the Cage. Certainly nothing about our current situation.”

“Ah. Straight to business, was it?”

“Not really.” Castiel tilted his head, squinting. “The trick with nymphs is not to ask direct questions when you want information. They asked about my family, so I brought up my big brothers and asked what they’d heard of all four of them. Surprisingly little, it turns out.”

“So you, what, talked? With nymphs?”

“That was the plan, yes? They seemed quite eager to learn about me.”

“Pet, they were buttering you up.” At Castiel’s confused look, Crowley continued. “It’s a common flirtatious technique. Humans are masters of it. The individual asks meaningless, inane questions about the person they’re attracted to: their family, their job, what have you. They don’t care about any of that drivel, just the end game.” The corners of Crowley’s mouth turned up in a suggestive smile. “So, whatever did you regale the dears with?”

“They asked about life as an angel. I told them about our daily routines: our exercises, sparring, patrols, contemplation, meditation-”

“Utterly fascinating. Truly.” Crowley rolled his eyes. “Let me see if I have this right. You had seven - seven! - gorgeous women, known for their voracious sexual appetites and you… discussed meditation?”

“Among other things.”

“And what happened after this riveting conversation?”

Castiel’s gaze drifted aside. “They fell asleep.”

“Well done, mate.”


End file.
